Envy

As I watch people who are busy everyday
I can't help asking myself why I am not like them.
I envy them for they know what they want in life
Unlike me, I have nothing to do at all.
I feel that I am wasting my life for keeping myself idle
I feel like life is so boring, nothing excites me.
I  envy people for they all have the reason in living
And as for me, I have none.
To be able to do things on my own
It seems like I am in my own little world, my comfort zone.
Every time I tried to get away from it
People around me seems pulling me back to my own little world.
Forcing me to follow in their own flow
Everything seems empty.
I felt empty in me, no motivation in doing things
I felt empty for not knowing what I want to do with my life.
I want to find it; experience what others experienced.
The feeling of joy when someone finally found his/her purpose.
I am currently struggling in solving the hardest math problem in my life
And the answer seems impossible to find.
All I can do now is to envy people for giving their best
And achieving what they want in the end.
Envy is all I have now for I have nothing.
I am just an empty vessel living for the sake of living.