That's the image you printed in my mind
As was close to you that I could tell all my secrets
Just like a friend whom I could trust
Laughing our hearts out like there's no tomorrow
Supporting me in all the things I do
You were my number one fan
I never felt alone and secluded when you are near
It seems like I could count on you always
And when i'll call you you'd immediately fly to where I am
I am always grateful and proud of you.
Self-centered, selfish and numb
That's the image you're printing in my mind now
I don't understand when and why this is happening
As time pass by you slowly drifted away from me
It seems like you've become another person
I can't understand you at all
I can't talk to you without getting mad
Shouting and bickering like mad dogs.
Exhausted, mad and sad
I am quiet tired of this endless arguments?
Even the tiniest things becomes a big issue
That seems like the world would end if we don't fight
I am tired of this scenario so I chose to silent
But I am not as strong you think I am
It's getting exhausting just the fact that you are near.
Dreaming, hoping and praying
Can't we return to how we use to be?
I miss the days were could just chat and laugh for simple reasons
I miss the times were we ride our bicycles from church to home
I miss the person whom I've called father/best friend
I don't know what happen It is so painful to see that I have lost you
It is even more painful than you dying in reality
And I don't even know how and why;
It hurt me so much when I see you coming home drunk
And the whole house become a battlefield of curses and swearings.
Hoping, wishing and believing
Is all I could do now
I can only hope and wish to return to how we use to be
If only you buried those memories in your heart
Maybe our relationship would still be the same
Right now I don't even know who's this person I'm calling father
I don't know this person
The father I knew was no longer here
It feels like he died and could only ressurect if he wishes to
I have no choice but bury your past image in my heart
So that I'll not end up hating you;
And if the time when you return home with the Father before me
I could shed tears of sadness and pain;
Not tears of regrets and relief.
Prayer, prayer and prayer
Is all could do right now
I have no power to turn back time
Nor do I have the power to change you
I am only a humble human and a servant of God
All I can do is to endure this pain
And wipe away these tears
And cover my face with a smile
As if everything is all right,
Believing that everything will be all right
So please let's go back to how we used to be
I beg you.
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