My Greatest Friend

I have been under pressure since before.
Before, it has been the prime reason to fight
But today, it has become the prime hindrance in giving my all.
It feels like it's pushing me to edge till I fall.

I tried to ignore it
However, it is like a seed.
The more I ignore, the more it grows.
It is absorbing my strength like water.

It was my greatest strength in moving forward
But also it is my greatest weakness I haven't overcome.
I always ask Him to help me overcome it;
Begging in tears, kneeling down for help.

I have been waiting for His response
while taking the journey of my life.
But when the day comes that He answers
I am in great confusion.

I know He had come to help
But I don't how to do it.
I am scared in moving on.
I am too weak to fight on.

When everyone seems to turn their backs on me.
When everyone seems deaf to hear my sobs.
When it seems that I am alone in the world
He came to reach out His hand.

He had prove once again that He loves me
Though I am not a perfect child.
He let me grow on my own
Yet He never leave me.

He has always on my side while others don't.
He laughs with me when I laugh while others are pretentious.
He smiles when I am happy while others don't care.
He embraces me when I cry while others are numb.

He always wipes away my tears
And never leaves me alone.
He is the one understands me the most
while everyone pretends to know me.

He is always with me
And I feel that I am not alone.
He is a good listener
And my greatest friend, GOD.

my dilemma

These days i keep on wondering,
keep on asking myself
is there something wrong?
this isn't what the way i am.

i have kept silent
i have always set it aside
i never give my self a chance
to have a glimpse of myself.

days have passed and i never realized
that day by day my heart grew tired
along with my body and my mind.

i tried to suppress the feelings
yet, unknowingly, i am being defeated
defeated defenselessly with my own fear
defeated defenselessly with my own tears.

everyday i always search for the answers
everyday i am in the midst of journey
in midst of nothingness, how lonely
in midst of nowhere, how scary.

right now, i needed someone to lean on
but when i look around i realized that their is no one
i realized that i am alone in this crowd
i have no one to cry on.

today til the end of tomorrow
i will keep on searching
i will always be alone
i will always be stuck in my heart's darkness
i will always wait for the light.